Child Discipline

QUESTION: What can I do to discipline my five-year-old daughter who learned terrible habits from my ex?

ANSWER: The most important thing to remember is that she is a five-year-old human being. As a human being her most basic non-physical needs are for acceptance and effectiveness. To the degree that these needs are filled from her point of view she will be in harmony with her environment. If she doesn't get enough acceptance she will try to replace it with effectiveness (usually as "power plays," "control tricks," or over-achievement). If she doesn't feel effective enough she will try to replace this with being more acceptable (submissive, dependent, or emotionally manipulative are usual ways). As a five-year-old she doesn't have a lot of experience to work with, so she will copy behavior learned from the other parent, from other children, and from television. The behavior she will learn best is that which helps her get what she wants, but she may have a limited number of resources to learn from. So the next most important thing to remember is that the root meaning of the word "discipline" is "to teach." You will need a lot of patience, but her behavior will improve to the extent that you teach her at an emotional level that she is loved, and teach her in a practical way how to be more effective in dealing with people and situations.

Past Lives

QUESTION: How can I remember past lives and prove they are real?

ANSWER: Your belief is your only proof. If you believe enough, any evidence will be proof. If you don't believe, no amount of evidence will be proof enough. The easy way out is to believe in them when it is helpful to do so, and don't believe in them when it isn't.

Assuming they are real, look at places and cultures that interest you greatly, languages you learn easily, and talents you have that your family doesn't share. Studying these can trigger memories. Also, try dream recall, guided meditation, hypnosis, and self hypnosis.

QUESTION: What exactly is "shamanic healing?"

ANSWER: Here is one view. Shamanic healing is any form of healing in which the real objective is to heal spiritual relationships. The shamanic universe is a spiritual one, in the sense that everything is a spirit, including the universe itself, and everything is in some kind of relationship. Problems arise when two or more spirits get out of harmony. Because everything is related, two "idea spirits" in disharmony (i.e., conflicting ideas) can induce disharmony in one or more "body spirits" (i.e., body organs or functions), and vice versa. By healing the relationships (resolving conflicts) between ideas or body parts, harmony is restored for all concerned.

Although shamans are usually associated with dramatic ritual or trance techniques, in actuality they use whatever works. Common sense advice, herbs and medicine, massage and other physical interventions, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy - all these and more can be part of the shaman's repertoire, in addition to dramatic ritual and trance.

How to Send Healing

QUESTION: I've been asked to "send healing" for people and situations around the world, but how do I do this?

ANSWER: There are many techniques from different traditions and teachings, but all of them usually involve some combination of energy, words, and images. The words and images express your intent, and the energy gives power to your intent. The fundamental assumption behind all of this is that good thoughts can support good causes over great distances, just like prayer. So here is a basic process that anyone can use:

1. Take one very deep breath;

2. Say what you want (ex: "Let there be the right amount of rain needed in Texas");

3. See what you want (ex: rain clouds moving over Texas and releasing the right amount of rain);

4. Take another deep breath to finish.

Affirmations

QUESTION: Do affirmations really work?

ANSWER: By themselves, affirmations really don't do anything. They are not "magical spells" that cause things to happen. In fact, the verbal part of a spell has little importance.

An affirmation affirms or asserts that something exists or is true. That's all. Because of that, it also puts your attention on what you are affirming, and helps take your attention off the opposite. Repeating an affirmation, therefore, helps keep your mind on what you want, and not on what you don't want. Do that enough and you establish a habit of thought. Choose words for an affirmation that trigger positive mental and physical associations, and you establish mental, emotional, and physical habits. So, affirmations really don't work... but they do.

Cold Sore

QUESTION: I got a cold sore and I know it was directly related to being angry with someone, but why did my body choose that expression and how can I reprogram it to not do that any more?

ANSWER: Your body uses memory, sensory awareness, and energy to react to all your mental and physical behavior. When you get angry, all your biosystems are highly activated, especially in the area of your body where you might habitually respond to whatever made you angry. This could result in angry words or fight/flight reactions. If you suppress the anger, however, your body tightens the muscles or organs in the habit areas to block memory, sensory awareness or energy/movement reactions. This tension distorts body functions and triggers further reactions that we call disease or illness. So, with suppressed anger, for instance, some people get headaches, skin problems, arthritis, tumors, or many other conditions. You can reprogram your body to react with a different symptom when you suppress emotions by using affirmations, visualization, and self hypnosis, for example, but suppressed emotions will always cause tension and result eventually in symptoms of some kind. The best approach for this is to reprogram your mind to react differently to unpleasant situations. As a very general but workable guideline, increasing your self esteem and confidence really helps to do this.

Improving Intuition

QUESTION: How can I increase my intuition?

ANSWER: You may find this surprising, but the best way to increase or improve your intuition is to increase your sensory awareness, especially of things that interest you. This is because the more experience you have with something, the more sensitive you are to the most subtle information broadcast by whatever you put your attention on. If your interest is in engines or electronics, you will intuitively know how to fix them. If your interest is in people, you will intuitively know their fears and desires, problems and solutions.