Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Becoming Transparent

QUESTION: What do I do about my reactions to someone who sends me angry emails about a business matter? It feels like strong energy coming at me and I react emotionally, which I don't want to do.

ANSWER:  It doesn't matter how strong the energy is that's coming toward you. What matters is how you react to it. From what you say you are taking it personally and resisting it, which produces the emotions you don't want to have.

The more "transparent" you can become to outside energy carrying unpleasant information, the more effective you can be at dealing with it. Here is one of the best techniques I ever learned for doing that:

You know what the person in question is like and what he does is not a surprise, even though you don't like it. So, give him permission to be the way he is and to do what he does. At the same time, give yourself permission to act on what he does in whatever way you think is appropriate.

He is going to be what he is and do what he does anyway, but by giving him permission to do it you are in charge and your resistance to it rapidly diminishes. With a little practice and some reminders, you'll be able to handle any situation like this with aplomb and ease.


  1. Great advice! Accept people/things as they are and (re)act accordingly.

  2. Serge, I was hoping to be able to post this on your FB wall but am unable to do so ..I was wondering if you are in any way involved through your work, with the protest movements in Hawaii against the biotech testing as seen in this article

    I live in the UK and have been researching this topic & others related -for a while but had no idea how deeply entrenched they had become in that part of the world until recently.

  3. It works :-)

    I love the simple and practical approach - free from tension and anger you just act and "every thing works out perfectly".

    Thank you!